


Shock.

by hanorganaas



Series: August Rush 2014 [4]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Community: 1_million_words, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Murder TW, Panic Attacks, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, use of guns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 22:38:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2085807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanorganaas/pseuds/hanorganaas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John comforts Rodney as he does something he regrets while saving John.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shock.

**Author's Note:**

> For the **1_Million_Words** August Rush Challenge using this Prompt:
> 
> http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b346/haldoor/1_million_words/August%20Rush2/02sga-mackay_zpsda6fa1ec.jpg
> 
> ((This was supposed to be a drabble....I have too much SGA Muse))

The moment John heard the bang and fell to the ground he started scrambling to feel his body with his bound hands to see if he was shot. Sighing in relief that he was only bruised from being beaten by his captors he turned his head to see the captor that held him was dead on the floor. He took a deep breath realizing the warm sticky substance on his face wasn’t sweat but blood.

A sharp cry jerked him out of his conscious. John turned his head to face Rodney, gun in his hand, shaking.

“Rodney,” He said.

“I-I-I killed him,” Rodney stuttered, he was in a catatonic state, not wanting to move. Gun still shaking in his hands. John reached or the knife which was dropped to the floor by his captor and cut himself free. He rose to his feet as his hands moved to bring the circulation back into his wrists, “I’m a murderer.”

John slowly grabbed Rodney’s hands and finger by finger released the grip to the gun before throwing it to the side. His hands moved to scientist’s shoulders squeezing them tight hoping he’d stop the vigorous tremors that jolted through Rodney’s body. He was about to have a panic attack

“You are not a murderer….you are a hero,” John whispered. “You had to kill him or else...” It didn’t help. Rodney suddenly started to sob. “Rodney breathe…” Rodney took a long shakey breath held it in for ten seconds before breathing out and repeated. “Listen to me Rodney think of it this way….if you didn’t do what you did I would have died. Okay….think of that.”

“You’re right it’s just,” Rodney said before pausing for a moment. “I was brought here to do science experiments not kill people. Even if it is to save people. I….I am not trained like you.”

John gave a small reassuring smile as he ran small reassuring circles down his arm. The tremors were dying down and Rodney’s breathing became more regulated. 

“Rodney….not even MY first kill was easy you regret it,” John sighed deeply as he remembered the day he killed his first enemy in a situation just like this, even that made his smile fade just a little; but he had to remember this was about Rodney not him. “I cried for days.”

“You did?” Rodney said tilting his head.

“I did,” John said as he unconsciously reached for Rodney’s hand, “I mean I tried so hard not to kill anybody when I was overseas. But sometimes in war…..you have no choice. Every man I killed, from the Fifty Five Genii during the Siege of Atlantis to the terrorist ready to detonate a bomb and ready to kill hundreds of innocent people….” He suddenly realized Rodney’s hand was in his own. He didn’t pull his hand away like a hand on a hot stove. He kept it there, squeezing it tight memorizing the feel of them in his hand. “I regret killing them but if you kill them without glee and with regret….it doesn't make you weak….it makes you human.”

Their hands remained linked for a moment as if they were a lifeline before finally releasing.

“Thanks John,” Rodney said smiling softly.

“You’re welcome,” John said smiling before wrapping his arm around his shoulder. “Now lets go home.”


End file.
